Do you want the honest truth?
Being sober can suck.
People can be really insensitive and more often than not, I can’t seem to find anything to do with myself on a Friday night.
But it isn’t all terrible.
I have learned quite about about myself during the last 365 days.
I am not a ticking time bomb.
Some people will treat me as overly fragile once the words “I don’t drink” escape my lips. I leave myself open to a windfall of judgement when I am among acquaintances that may have once known me to be a person who likes to let loose. Fortunately, people will sometimes keep it to themselves. More often than not, however, the conversation will move on and no one will have even thought anything of it.
Honestly…most people do not really seem to care. Those that do, are itching for the gossip. I’ve found that the further into my sobriety journey I get, the more I’m willing to dish.
I am a spoiled brat.
Alcohol has definitely affected my emotional coping skills over the years and now that it no longer has a place in my life, I am left to deal with a few unsavory character flaws.
I take things too personally. Frequently.
This feature was often amplified if I had been drinking.
Without the excuse of having “one too many”, I am now forced to actually witness the process of me centering myself in the universe while cursing an unfavorable situation.
I am better at “adulting”.
It has its perks.
I am a bit more financially aware, actively working towards managing my weight, and I have suddenly become obsessed with painting my nails a different color every two days.
More importantly, I am giving myself the attention I deserve.
I have no desire to attempt moderation.
If I am being honest, I will admit to having considered moderation after I reached a year of sobriety. I was convinced that I would have to try it in order to know if I had a “legitimate problem”.
I am aware of that absurdity.
Here is what I do know. If the urge strikes to drink, I know it is not because I feel left out, or I want to relax, or any of the reasons we tell ourselves we deserve a drink. It will be because I want to feel the altered state…and that is the reddest of red flags.
I don’t know about you, but moderation just sounds like it would require way too much
Terrible risk versus reward ratio.
I am a jack of all trades, but master of none.
I have become quite creative with my downtime.
I have spent the last year learning, creating, doing, exploring…
This has not yet revealed any hidden talents or marketable skills.
I am still having fun.
I wish that I could say that I no longer get dressed to the nines to sing terrible versions of karaoke songs in front of a crowded bar, but then I would be lying.
“I do not condone putting yourself in potentially
triggering situations. Know your limits and stay where
you are comfortable.”
All in all, the experience has been a good one.
The initial awkwardness and bitterness has worn off and living a life without alcohol has become the standard and it is no longer strange to me. After some trial and error, I’ve become a bit more comfortable in my new reality and…dare I say…it feels pretty normal.
Share with us where you are in your journey (if you want to).
Are you still making the decision to cut alcohol out of your life for good?
Do you have a decade under your belt? We’d love to hear your insight.
What are some of the things you’ve learned about yourself once you kicked alcohol to the curb?